From the Brain of Dr. Nicki: Declaring Your Self

It’s July 4^th again. Homes have been cleaned and cleared to make way for party goers. Barbecues are heating up. Salads are being tossed. The desserts are festive. Offices and government agencies are closed for three days. Your neighbor put up a flag. Down the street there’s fireworks preparations. You put a heartfelt message on social media. Or you scowl at the messages you find there. This must be what freedom means right? 

Wrong.

Well, you knew I’d go there. Get all psychological on you. But this freedom of which we speak is so very important how can I not! Politics these days has gotten most of us so riled – so tied up and tied down – we can barely see our way out of the verbal political morass long enough to celebrate our amazing lives let alone think about stunning concepts like real freedom.

So let’s not get historical or hysterical about the concept behind this precious day. Let’s not discuss to gun or not to gun, to email or not to email, or any of the other noise du jour. Instead let’s talk about freedom itself.

Here it is sweet and simple: Freedom means becoming aware of oneself as in coming into the kind of self-realization and self-reverence that allows you to move through the world with open-minded confidence. Let me put it another way: freedom means understanding yourself well enough – the good, bad and ugly of you – in a way that forbids the hiding, rejecting, judgmental you to flourish or rule or determine the choices you make and paths you walk. Freedom does not mean you’ve left your past behind but it does mean you don’t live in that past. It does not mean you never again have to answer to anybody or to rules or laws, but it does mean you can greatly determine the circumstances in which you live. It does not mean your mother and father voices have left you entirely, but it does mean you now keep what you like and leave the rest. It does not mean you have leeway to behave anyway you want or say anything you wish, but it does mean you move through your life with a sense of authenticity, authority and freedom from shame.

Sounds pretty good huh?! So why don’t more folks aim for that? Because standing in that upright position takes work; because we’ve become comfortable in our old ways of thinking and doing; because it takes giving up old ideas; because it takes releasing ourselves from blame; because it means refusing to blame others; because it just feels too damn scary.

Thing is, when all’s said and done, the only hope we have in this crazy social media driven, tattered world is to “fix” ourselves, meaning locate the unique voice you have and are and proclaim that voice proudly. It won’t happen by getting into group think. It won’t happen by clinging to old outdated ideas. It won’t happen by staying silent either.

So today think about who you really are and how you’re walking and talking that real you through the world. Turns out freedom from outside control is an inside job. A serious inside job. Now go forth into your day of freedom. Eat hearty, hug your friends and loved ones mightily and realize – this is a precious day. As was yesterday. As will be tomorrow.  

To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.
William Blake