Ask Dr. Nicki: Procrastination

Once a week I present this feature called, "Ask Dr. Nicki" featuring a question that either a) I generate myself from commonly asked questions, or b) a question that somebody submits to me. I really hope that each and every one of you gets something from my advice!

Dear Dr. Nicki,

I know there are much bigger problems in the world, but I have a problem with procrastination. I'm always leaving everything for the very very last minute including big projects. But on the flipside, I feel like I am my most creative and productive when I am under the gun at the last minute. Should I just continue on this way? Or is this just an excuse to keep procrastinating?


Dr. Nicki says:

Dear Procrastinator-

"Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow, creeps in this petty pace..." Indeed, even Shakespeare, ruminating about time itself, wondered the value of the daily lives we live. Certainly a valid -- even important - rumination.

Meanwhile, as always, it's best to investigate what propels your behavior. What, for instance, are you telling yourself about here, now and later? What are you doing when you're not doing what's in front of you to be done? How was do-it-now dealt with in your family of origin?

Of course, many have the idea that being "under the gun" leads to increased creativity and productivity. Nonsense. Why ever would that be so? How....really HOW...would that work? (This is a real question you'd best ask yourself: as in, 'it forces me to focus and think more strategically'. So what can you do to take charge of getting in that frame of mind rather than waiting til the sky is falling?)

Originally this defense comes from several places, as in: an unconscious way of bracing yourself against disappointment (If I get a b+ while not giving it my considered all, imagine what I could do if I'd start the assignment earlier!). Maybe, maybe not. Perhaps your grade would have been the same. Well, no matter as you never need to find out. Or perhaps approaching things in a measured step-by-step way might make you feel sluggish, unimaginative or dull. There are numerous other reasons you might be procrastinating however no matter what you're likely to think of it as a condition. It's not. It's a choice.

The only way to truly determine if your "illusion" of better-under-the-gun is true or not is to challenge it. That means conscientiously doing the next thing on your plate as soon as it arrives there. Answer the email right away. Make the dreaded phone call today. Write the outline of your next project NOW. Finish the book you started reading. Tell your friend she hurt you.

As you can see I'm suggesting you confront procrastination in every area. Do it for one week to begin with and notice the feelings coming up in response. Underneath there are some erroneous notions holding this defense in place. Time to deal with those ideas.

On the other side of the story you can pause to admire the way procrastination has taught you to slow down. Also a needed capacity. Now the idea is to find balance. As always we want to be the employers of our defenses, no matter what their form, rather than the servants.

Thanks for your question. And never ever imagine that your concerns should be ignored because they don't fall under the category of "world events". After all, it takes each of us individually becoming as conscious as we can of our own errant ways and changing where we can, to contribute to potential community shifts!

Faithfully,

Dr. Nicki





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