Ask Dr. Nicki: Spirituality

Once a week I present this feature called, "Ask Dr. Nicki" featuring a question that either a) I generate myself from commonly asked questions, or b) a question that somebody submits to me. I really hope that each and every one of you gets something from my advice!

Dear Dr. Nicki,

I was raised a Catholic, But by the time I was 13 years old I became very disillusioned with the church. Now I'm in my late 30s and I haven't quite been able to categorize myself as an "atheist", because it seems so harsh, but I definitely don't believe in institutionalized religion. On the flipside, I am a very spiritual person. At least I would like to think so. I love reading/discovering different aspects of spirituality, But I feel like it doesn't give me any sort of identity. Am I searching for a "label" that doesn't exist?

Dr. Nicki says:

Dear Seeker-

This is a frequently met quest: how do we find a comfortable or right context for our developing beliefs?

Ordinarily what organized religion offers is a clear scaffolding -- a constructed house with specific rooms for specific uses. The key word here is organized. When surrounded with certain organizational precepts, concepts and constructs many feel a clarity and safety they have difficulty claiming for themselves without cogent rules to follow and standards to uphold (or rebel against). In addition, of course, there's the traditions and rituals religions offer. Sometimes difficult, often delicious.

Now, seeking a "structure without structure" can be somewhat more challenging. Naturally, the temptation is to turn to yet another label-- to find a place where there are new rules to follow. As perhaps you might know from my most recent blog about labels I'm not a fan! Actually, Seeker, identity is an inside job. Context, though, is another matter. Context helps and influences. What contexts we choose to explore will likely affect our outcomes and even our beliefs.

But as to your specific question, here's the good news: there are many, many others in the same where-do-I-fit boat! Basically what you're describing are folks who believe that the Universe is a vast complex of inter-connected aspects and that there's Mystery beyond the limits of temporal understanding.

What to do then? Reach out. Speak your truth. Find groups, gatherings, lectures etc where people of like-mind and curious nature gather. They are everywhere, I promise. This can be an exciting time of discovery for you. Expect to be confused, provoked, astonished, excited and more. If you truly commit to discovering yourself through this search you're in for an exhilarating, life-affirming ride! Good luck.

Faithfully,

Dr. Nicki
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