From the Brain of Dr. Nicki: Surrendering Old Ideas

They say aging is a state of mind.
Ridiculous.
Uninspired.
But not completely false.

Aging is a stroll or trot or sometimes run towards the finish line. Stop grimacing please cause that isn't a negative. No. It's simple truth and as simple truths are hard enough to come by, we best relish the ones we find. The question is never if, the question is how. How well do we greet today. How beautifully do we anticipate tomorrow. How fully do we appreciate all that's come before.

Not long ago I met a lovely 52 year old Korean woman who announced, while describing her long-time care-taking job with the elderly, that in terms of her own living and life she was done. Completely finished. Terminado. Though she smiled slightly as she said it she sounded entirely and honestly defeated. It astonished all of us who heard her, especially as the 'all who heard her' were 55-80 year olds gathered to discuss and discover: "Revisioning Later Life." And here she was - a fly in our hopeful ointment.

So how does such premature defeat happen? Is it societal prejudice sinking its gruesome agism teeth into us? Or might it be the universal ever-present death & dying fear? Or perhaps its simply a personal lifetime practice of deep dissatisfaction that begins swelling like spider veins, eventually becoming visible to the naked eye by finding age as its final repository for defeatism!

Whatever it is, we all have it to some degree. Or at least a suspicion of it. It gives rise to over-compensation. It gives rise to fountain-of-youth lust. It gives rise to desperation.

I live in Los Angeles, California. Hollyweird. Everywhere you look you can see serum injected faces and tanning bed bodies tight with pump-'n-grunt daily effort to stave off the inevitable. It's easy to forget there's a whole "real" world out there where hair is allowed to grey and stomachs to sag. Don't mistake me. I'm in the dye it and pump it category so I'm not touting one way over the other. I'm just noticing.

And that's mostly my point. To notice each step of the way, how and why we feel about our days and ways.

In January of this year, in response to my mother's brilliant death, I had an awakening -- the kind of eye-opening energy infusion that can operate like magic youth serum. That's mostly how its been all year for me. Except the sprinkled in ordinary days. Those juiceless times have been tough -- once you've had a bite of the apple after all.

In any event, this is what I've learned: We're far more in charge of our relationship to the aging process, and in fact to aging itself, than we've often led ourselves to believe!! It's not a matter of donning a youthful mask, dressing 'hip', re-marrying a youngster, or peppering our conversation with inarticulate phrases punctuated by "like". And its not at all about refusing to look death in the eye.

What is it then? How do we enthusiastically advance rather than drag-stumble towards each new stage and age?

Turns out once again perspective is key. We must shift our attitude towards aging and then follow that shift with life-sustaining action: Exercise; Great nutrition; New intellectual adventures; Operating out of our comfort zones; A willingness to engage open-minded, open-hearted learning. 

I guess when all's said and done what I'm saying is: Aging begins as a state of mind.  And then continues as a state of body, heart & action.

So go ahead then and whatever your age stage, live this day as if its the best and most extraordinary day of your life. Because in the final analysis this is the youngest you will ever again be!