From the Brain of Dr. Nicki: The Play’s The Thing!

It’s been over thirty years since I stepped foot on stage. 

Over thirty years. 

Also, I’ve never performed something I’ve written myself. 

Also, I’ve never performed something I’ve written myself that’s  about me!  

Oh my.

My first intention
when approaching this endeavor was to push my already very far out edges. Check! My second was to walk the talk – to do what I over and over encourage my
clients to do which is be bold, take risk, go where angels fear to tread. Check! 

Additionally, I moved into this project with hope. 

First, I hoped that through this experience I could come to yet another stage of healing. Let’s see what happens. And second, I hoped that many of the attending witnesses would be touched, illuminated, amused, encouraged and ultimately inspired to healing of their own.

The journey has already been wild. Observing my life in the mouths of others is startling. Being confronted by innovative versions of my long-held perceptions and projections about my history - because each actor sees the experiences and
characters presented in this play through their own life-molding lenses - is awakening. 

Giving up control in stunning, unpredictable ways is gratifying.

Here’s a side-benefit I never anticipated: 

As I’m learning my lines (yes, learning - because as actor I’m approaching the piece as if written by another playwright, plus once I’ve put words to page I barely remember what’s been written, plus by draft twelve who could remember!)…learning my lines and rehearsing and all the remaining hours of my week sitting with clients, I’m actually hearing my client stories with fresh ears. Their experiences are snuggling up next to mine like long-time friends in unanticipated ways.

Now, I’ve always used my own history to allow maximum client correspondence, empathy and identification. This, though, feels like a new level of precise and unique knowing. 

Like the difference between shooting an arrow and throwing a
hand-grenade.  

We have several more

weeks ‘til opening. The lessons are just beginning I believe. One thing though
that’s been present from the start of writing a year ago and working with my
excellent dramaturge/ director Diana Wyenn, is gratitude. 

Gratitude for my own work ethic. 

Gratitude for my capacity when it comes to language. 

Gratitude about what a quick and avid learner I am. 

Gratitude for the very history bringing me to this stunning experience. 

Gratitude for the many teachers who have brought me to this moment. 

And most of all, gratitude for the life both behind me and before me.

Magical events have occurred around the play already. Things and people showing up in impossible ways. I expect my mother – whose very much the center of this work – to be present on stage with me as I perform. 

Now won’t that be yet another kick in this cracked open heart o’ mine! Bliss!  

See you all there! 

___________________

Join me here on the blog every Monday for another "day in the life of a Playwright/Actor!" 

And then after July 15th...I'll see you at the play! 

Tickets available here: