From the Brain of Dr. Nicki: 'Tis the Season...Revisiting Corey Haim!

Mysteriously we have rushed into the end of yet another year! As time flies by we try to catch our breaths long enough to assess. We tend to look at wins and losses. But what if we take a step back to instead appreciate this very moment in time.

Stop that yawning -- I realize this be-present patter can be annoying. After all, so much business to accomplish and now on top of that these darn holidays, with their do-diligent requirements tugging at our pant cuffs. Thing is, bitch as you will, the fact that you're awake enough to read these words; smart enough to have an opinion about them; hopeful enough to imagine inspiration might be around the corner; and curious enough to consider (even momentary) change, means your life is better than you sometimes think.

But I have a warning. It's not so different as my usual warnings, but amplified during the holidays. It's about compulsivity. Now, as it happens a BBC show I taped last summer - a show I pretty much forgot about - is currently airing. The show is called: Autopsy: The Last Days of Corey Haim. As many of you know I was his on-air therapist for nine episodes of The Two Coreys a number of years ago, just preceding his death. Corey was a charming, charismatic, talented addict. He also moved in and out of denial. I was hugely sad when he died, however I found it not unexpected.

When I taped the BBC show I was greatly impressed by the lovely English folks I worked with. When I saw the show the other day I was a bit disappointed. I could hear from the presented material a naiveté about addiction and how it works. At one point the autopsy doctor said something about Corey having only THC in his system at time of death which meant his friends and family were right in saying he was clean and sober. NOT TRUE. An addict who's smoking pot is not clean and sober. Then they went on to address the "prescription drugs" in a way that, though emphasizing obvious ridiculous quantities, implied the rightness of the prescriptions, if not the volume.

It's easy to blame the doctors who gave Cory the drugs and of course, they deserve to take some responsibility, however what must be remembered is the user. For two decades Corey made choices to continue engaging his addiction. He did it with so-called legal drugs and illegal drugs. He was given great information and tremendous support with regards to stopping. But addiction is a pernicious little dickens and often trumps all rationales. For instance, The Two Corey's was supposed to be a comeback opportunity and yet he simply could not maintain sobriety through it.

Thus, though I appreciated many parts of Autopsy, what was missing for me was a frank assessment of what happens to a body pummeled by drugs over time. Certainly it weakens. When other physical maladies show up or are discovered (his heart problem; his pneumonia) their danger is increased hugely.

So - back to the season now upon us. This is the season of addiction. We eat, drink, drug and more. And mostly we do it with the full support of everyone around us who are following suit. But if we have compulsivity tendencies this season can be especially rough. It will be tempting to run towards whatever numbing agent you choose; avoid looking your stress and fears about the future in the eye; substitute any effort to be present for some constructed notion of "having fun"; and in the final analysis, lose yourself one more time to the dragons of compulsivity.

All I'm suggesting -- as usual - is STAY AWAKE. You might be surprised how truly gorgeous it is to be here - even amidst the daily storms, family battles and desperate search for approbation.

So do something radical this season: choose Joy. Real, facing life-on-life's terms Joy. After all, 'tis the season.