The Magic of Magical Thinking

Magical thinking is defined as falsely linking actions and events (i.e. If I paste fabulous pictures of mansions on my walls then someday, whether I earn enough money to actually get it or not! I will live in such a mansion; If I pray every day for my prince to come, he will appear).

Such fantasy-driven thinking is often initiated during the kind of chaotic, abandoning or vile early lives that leave us feeling painfully out of control. Dreams of rescue from dreadful circumstances get amplified through film, television, media and literature. Romance novels, a one-time fav MT breeding ground, have to some degree been replaced by constant technological avenues selling love, spiritual rescue and physical perfection.

Magical thinking can offer us the sense we’re in charge - that we’re powerful enough to control outcome.

Current online video fantasy games, for instance, let us be everything from heroes and villains to alien creatures. We triumph in ways eluding us in daily life; we get to join online communities that allow us an increased sense of belonging and give temporary relief from daily plight and fight. A good deal. As an added bonus the anonymity feels freeing.

Magical thinking here, there and everywhere.

"Some irrational beliefs (Santa Claus) are passed on to us. But others we find on our own...No one told Wade Boggs that eating chicken before every single game would help his batting average; he decided that on his own, and no one can argue with his success. We look for patterns because we hate surprises and because we love being in control.” Matthew Hutson, Psychology Today

We all do this to some degree, with degree being the optimal word here.

When we make a wish while blowing out birthday candles that’s magical thinking.

When a baseball pitcher ritually brushes off the mound, or a football player kisses an object pre-game, that’s magical thinking.

Obviously, these habits neither inhibit nor undermine, so no biggie.

Some even consider things like astrology and Feng Shui to be “magical” thinking, while others believe them to support an expanded life vision.

My husband and I sometimes watch a television program called Antiques Roadshow. Certain objects, like a particular actor’s costume or signed baseball cards, are shown to carry extreme “value”. Part of their worth comes from their history, but part, I’d postulate, is magical thinking.

Why is the bat used to hit a homerun imparted so much significance? After all, the ball was hit by the man not the bat. Clearly, the bat becomes a permanent magical representative of the man. Turns out anything––personal or public––with a “unique history” gains such value. Passed down wedding rings are a good example.

A client of mine experienced the death of both parents within a year. Their lush, expensive home was filled with tons of valuable silver, antique furniture, and other precious objects. One “no financial value” item becoming a small bone of contention amongst the siblings was the cutting board dad made for mom by hand.  “Sentimental value” means an object has been touched with magical thought. In this case the cutting board was seen as “holding the energy” of both mom and dad.

Again, this personal investment in an inanimate object causes no harm. Quite the opposite, such investment often brings sweetness to our lives. Still, it shows how magical thinking subtly weaves through our daily lives.

As with all things, there’s potential good and bad news here. Obviously, many forms of MT are benign and even life-enhancing. However, gaming anonymity, for instance, can be just another version of disconnected hiding. Not a terrific preparation for fluid real-life interactions. Or, when folks use astrology as a rigid life plan tool, or an athlete breaks down over a missing “lucky” object, we’re straying into rough territory.

Clearly, problems start when preferences becomes needs or when the object of support begins to control our feeling, thinking and behavior.

MT can also move into pathology. Remember the TV show Monk or film As Good As It Gets? The obsessive-compulsive who, gripped by MT, needs to touch the lamp three times and click their tongue five times before moving on is being strangled by a fear that forbids full engagement with real life.

On the other hand absolute disconnection from all things “magical” can leave us sitting firmly in doom and gloom.

Extremely depressed folks, for example, are often desperately “realistic.” The disorder known as anhedonia - the complete inability to experience pleasure at all - aptly describes this. Giving a glance toward magical thinking for sure wouldn’t hurt these tortured individuals.

To Summarize:

Things like wishing are benign forms of magical thinking best supported by substantial backup work.

I can wish for my perfect lover to appear, however, if I never leave my house, constantly keep my eyes lowered, or say no to everyone who asks me out, that “perfect” person will likely pass me by.
But life with no hope for magic and reverence for mystery is dry and dull as dirt.

So create those fun, disinhibiting MT rituals, while realizing that skipping those sidewalk cracks will not save your mother’s back from breaking.

Enjoy the fantasies that elevate your life but stop battling powerlessness with garbled ideas of cause and effect.

Yes, there’s wondrous, helpful, inspiring magical things in the world. The idea is not to throw the baby out with the bath.

When looking to the stars, be sure to keep your feet on the ground.