From the Brain of Dr. Nicki: Chop Wood, Carry Water

I’ve always been this kind of gal. Work hard. Make it happen. Don’t let up. If one thing doesn’t work, try another.

Not a bad way to go through life if you want to be successful or accomplished. Still, at some point, like all stories told and retold, the story gets old. Why do we cling to ideas of who and how we are? Why would we just blithely accept ‘ah this is just the way it is’?   

Certainly it’s easy to get stuck to early established ideas of ourselves. Those stories formed as young children about our worth and capacities. And then it’s easy to defend those stories with defensive behavior. If I’m the chop wood, carry water person who insists on doing it all herself than I’ll manage to either find others to be unsupportive, or attract those guaranteed to let me down, or shove away any real offered assistance. Then one day, somewhere down the road, turn around mystified as to why I’m feeling so burdened with the load I carry.

Wow. What a cumbersome story. So what’s it take to rewrite the tales being told?

Intention; the courage to dive deep; a refusal to blame others or life itself for what’s unfolded; faith; patience; and finally, and unwavering sincerity. It’s not easy but it certainly can happen. We’re not changing the past. The story is the story. However, we are changing our relationship to that past.

Now, then, I can still choose to chop that wood, and fill that bucket with water – but I do it out of choice and not every minute. I can also invite a team to be by my side. I no longer have to prove I’m worthwhile by doing it all myself. I no longer need to drive home my importance by being your one and only go-to resource.

It’s been a long road but hear this: if I can do it so can you.

This is only one version of one dynamic story. The story you tell and the defenses you use to prove your self view hypothesis might be different. However, the possibility for change is the same.

Resolve that tomorrow will not imitate yesterday. Find out how you are the centerpiece of your story – how you are playing your part to create the life you’re living. Believe in possibility. Take a deep breath and dive deep. What have you got to lose? Worse case scenario you’ll be exactly where you already are. But if you’re thorough in your efforts, that won’t happen. Because you’re meant to be more than you’ve yet discovered. Know that.