From The Brain of Dr. Nicki: Getting Turned On! Part 2

As time scrolls forward I continue basking in the exhilaration of my turned on life. I'm tempted to call it after-glow but there's no energetic diminution or roll-over to some curled up sleep position. No. Instead, new realizations continue rocketing through me. Delicious. 

Here's an example: For over twenty years I've been attending to what's called the Heart Center [that spot located on the sternum between the breasts - known as the 4th chakra]. My brilliant teacher Dr. Brugh Joy spoke and taught consistently about what's referenced as: The Radiance and its "location" at the heart center -- the place he often talked about as "the center of centers -- the center of All." Now, I've felt this radiant emanation, especially when in either a deep meditative state or even more, when working in particular ways with others. Mostly its felt like moving beyond my smaller self into a more inspired, more generous & expanded version. When and to whatever extent that's occurred I've happily & gratefully welcomed it, like inspiring music.

Still, feeling slightly anemic in the face of what I've suspected to be a more potent possible experience, I've over the years poked around for deeper explanations. Eventually I landed on the idea that what we're describing as Radiance is the True/Authentic Self's unique "glow". In actors we sometimes call this radiating glow charisma.

Now here's the rub -- though each of us obviously has a true self, not everyone seems to be radiating -- not everyone we meet seems to have charisma. Well, the deal is, I've determined, that we actually do each have it....only such emanation [most often] isn't automatic. That means, though we all have within us charismatic potential, many or sadly perhaps even most, have little or no access to it. Unmet historical stories stand in the way; profound behavioral patterns stand in the way; stunning, desperate conclusions about personal incapacity stand in the way. It takes courage to break through. It takes grit. It takes resolve. It takes consistency. We need to conscientiously push aside the curtains of defense, fear, self-consciousness and all other impediments.

Coming into this turned-on time I knew all this and have shared much of it with many. So what's new? Okay, here it is, and for me to speak it feels heretical as it, even if ever so slightly, veers from my mentor's path: Radiance is not a Heart Center proposition only. Radiance is a full body experience. It's the life force flowing throughout our entire body system. Its the Being aliveness we're meant to fully embrace. Its the Wholeness experience so many in Sacred communities speak of looking for. It's a full presence wake-up call.

Now, Brugh did teach in his last years full-body experience & focus, however I never heard it as particularly connected to radiance. So what's the difference? I mean, if the sun light's blazing through your heart or, alternatively, if your entire body is afire how is your life differently affected? Because let's face it -- when all is said and done that's what we most want to know: what's the real impact of new perspective and fresh experience! Because otherwise it's just a bundle of smart ideas teasing us towards an empty bed.

Happily I've got more than my juicy thoughts to snuggle up to, for just as surely as the insights and revelations are occurring there are simultaneous, potent in-the-world manifestations appearing, like confirmations of long-standing appointments I never knew I'd made.   

The difference, then?

Everything.

Yep.

Everything.

First: heart radiance is something for most visited rather than lived in, plus because its a localized experience it most often takes intention to 'go there'.  Second: full body radiance employs parts of the system easily forgotten in the more localized version. Parts like sexual vivacity & psychic revelation & creative outflow. Now of course when expressing through these other parts, in the best of all possible worlds, the heart radiance would come into play, but it feels substantially different really. At least to me. For instance: I rarely need to overwhelm my busy mind to stay "centered" because the mind is a happy player in this ocean of full-body radiance. Rather than distracting as before, the mind now tickles me all the way to my toes becoming a penetrating lover skilled at foreplay.

Here's a few further examples of my full body radiance experience: walking into a room and feeling the space part before me, like curtains opening to reveal the stage; the actual feeling of blood coursing through my body; being energized at the very moment of imminent collapse; knowing,

as the boundaries between us crumble, how others experience the world; seeing the long road of an individuals life, both before the current moment & beyond.

These things are accessible to you too. Absolutely.  Full body radiant presence is not simply a concept -- its a living creature.

In Part One I spoke also about how many distracting distractions disappear from view when presence is happening. I want to re-emphasize this point. Anxiety is quelled. Need to control plus illusion of control become irrelevant. Concern about how others see you, as well as other forms of self-consciousness get tossed off. What a relief. That's why innovative notions can land in your brain. They have room to occur. You're not so preoccupied with history and future.

Let me offer yet another  personal example. For a time now I've been somewhat involved with death concerns. After all, lets face it -- there far more behind me than in front of me, as they say. I've been helped in this focus by the fact that my husband is quite a bit older; that we're all in a youth-centric world; and that, in many ways, I'm a late bloomer which means 'I've got so much to do', as I'd tell myself. Books to write. Stories to tell. A one-woman show to create. People to affect. And on it goes.

So in pursuit of this determined preoccupation I'd spend far too much mental energy imagining specifically how many "good" working years I've got; how long I'd be able to sit in my bliss impact-wise; how long my husband might have; where would all the faded albums go, etc. From time to time I'd subtly drag my clients into my darkening corner as in: "Better get the job done now, for after all we have no idea how long we'll have together" or some such version. Humiliating to think about now.

Of course, none of us know how long we have. Of course, attending our lives as consciously as possible today has always been the idea. But that's not really the point. Because it turns out when you are truly in your total body radiance those questions become completely and entirely unimportant. I mean it. Absolutely insignificant. Since I've been in this extraordinary life force flow I've not given this a thought. Not a thought.

Now, naturally I'm not suggesting ignoring the do-diligence needs called for in your life. Yes, do your estate planning. Get your funeral plans made. Do closure with everyone every time you can. But the point is don't make that or any other future experience your constant concern. It will serve you not at all.

Maybe you're not yet relating completely to this because death concerns aren't your jam. How about love? How much of your day do you focus on: "How will I get out of this situation?" or "How will I find the love/relationship I'm desperate for?" or any variation of these? Truth is, everyone's doing it.

What I'm offering you is a real solution. Again, I suggest you start with dance. Do it privately in your home. Or bravely in a group. Such gatherings are everywhere. Look at your body naked in the morning and find a way to love what you see, just as it is right now. Sit in a garden, preferably on the dirt, or on a beach, soft legs against the warm sand, and breathe. Feel the sun lick you head to toe. Don't hide or shirk or shrink. And when you hug others, do it with your full body -- don't stick your butt out into the air, or manage one side against them, or do the drive-by hug. Linger. Open. Experience.

This life is a miracle and your body -- whatever its age, shape or state -- is the greatest miracle of all . Let it teach you. Revere it. I know its practically pabulum to say that, but truth is truth.

Meanwhile I intend to continue taking up every bit of life space I can! Hope to see you in the dance.