Ask Dr Nicki: Is Shyness Holding Me Back?

Once a week I present this feature called, "Ask Dr. Nicki" featuring a question that either a) I generate myself from commonly asked questions, or b) a question that somebody submits to me. I really hope that each and every one of you gets something from my advice!

Dear Dr Nicki, 

I’ve been at my job for over 10 years now, and I feel like I keep getting passed over for promotion. Even people who haven’t been with the company as long as I have are moving up faster. 

I know my work is good, my bosses tell me that. The only thing I can think is that I’m not as assertive and outspoken in my personality as the others are. Maybe my shyness is holding me back?- but I can’t seem to break through it. 

How do I break out of a personality when it’s the only “me” I know? Thanks for any help or ideas.

Dr Nicki Says:

Dear Shy One- 

This is actually a tougher question to answer than might appear at first glance. Reason is, you're talking about deciphering the why's & wherefore's of your shyness, which is code for figuring out what FEARS are driving you! 

Of course one part is a natural introversion, which only wants to be appreciated. However where actual fear kicks in is likely around asking for your needs to be met as well as boldly contributing your ideas etc. 

To discover what your fears are based in takes some delving & can't be accomplished by answering a few simple questions. Therefore my recommendation is that you find a compatible facilitator of some kind & enter into a journey of discovery. 

I'm certain this is a disappointing answer but if you do seek such help I promise you this: 

EVERY area of your life will be well served by your endeavor. 

Faithfully yours, 

Dr Nicki


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